The Little Things That Matter

Lifestyle | Jun 03, 2014

You hear it all the time: “Life is too short”. Yet we never spend more than a second actually thinking about it. But look back at the last 10 years of your life…doesn’t it feel like it went by SO fast? Don’t you wish you could be that young again? Don’t you miss your childhood? I do. I miss those innocent and naive days, where I’d yell for my grandma and she would throw me money from the balcony so I could go get some ice cream. 50 cents could get me the world at the nearby candy store. And I was one happy little girl!

Then I don’t know what happened…people say “life did”. But why? Why, as we get older, we forget to find joy in such little things, that we put such a burden on our shoulders and happiness now comes with such a higher price and things? I’ll be the first to tell you that things make me happy. Things as in materials. Nice house, nice cars, nice everything makes me happy. At least so I thought. Is it really happiness? Or is it just the inner me feeling accomplished that I got it? Whatever it is, it’s not worth a damn thing. And the older I get, the more I realize it. Life is full of “things”, none of which add any meaning to it.

Last night I found out a beautiful, young girl Marie passed away from stage 4 cancer. First of all, FUCK cancer. I would normally apologize for my profanity but not today; not right now. Fuck it. It has taken way too many lives; way too many good people; people that loved to live. Really live. Not live for the world and the petty things like most of us do. And it made me tear up….my heart literally dropped as I read the text message late at night. Hubby was sleeping sound asleep next to me and I couldn’t help but reach my arms out to him and just tell him how much I loved him. Life is too short. I always knew it, but I’m finally learning what it means.

We all have a God we look up to and trust. Whichever God you believe in, trust that he put you here for a reason and a purpose, and if you haven’t found it yet, know that he wants you to live life happily for it’s the greatest gift you can ever receive. And to love is the greatest feeling you can feel. At least that is what I feel. A lot of us look forward to heaven forgetting that our time here is precious too and it matters. It’s worth living it to the fullest. Worrying about the small things, or the people that will only walk short paths with you in life is simply a waste of smile and minutes you will never get back. And as I write this I am teaching my own self these things. I don’t have anything figured out…but I know that with time I can teach myself how to view the world from a different perspective and how to be happy and free.

We worry too much about the opinion others have of us; the friend who betrayed us and we didn’t see it coming; the boyfriend who flirted with someone else; the coworker who is trying to take your place; the parents who don’t understand and are not supportive; the neighbor who comes across as fake; the test we think we won’t do well in; the scratches our kid got when biking outside; the purse we would KILL to have; the nasty comments left anonymously on our page; the husband who forgot to put the toilet seat down….and when you think about it, in a month or even year, will it MATTER? Will any of this make or break you? Will it add on years to your life? Will it take pain away when you are suffering? Will it cure you? Will it make you prettier?  Will it find you love? Will it make you HAPPY? And if yes momentarily, will it LAST?

Every day I’m learning to appreciate the little things I have that make me want to wake up the next morning. These little things that give me LIFE and make me be grateful to breathe another day…My husband, my son, our kiddos that I was blessed with from his previous relationships, my family back in Albania who would do anything for us, my mother and father in law that truly adore me and I adore, and the very few friends I have I can count on few little fingers. These are what ultimately my happiness depends upon. These are what makes my life the life it is. These are the people that bring out the true smile in me. These are the people that matter. Their opinion of me is what counts. Their love for me is what gives. Their lives in mine is what makes mine worth it. And if they are OKAY, nothing else matters. Nothing else should matter. And same goes for you.

Make a list today of all that truly is important to you. And let it marinate. See if it doesn’t make you feel silly for all the things you are currently worried about…Last night was that moment for me. A beautiful, young girl died at such a young age and with such a beautiful soul. And if I could I swear I’d give her some of my time here on Earth. But I am grateful she came into my life, even as a complete stranger. I am thankful I picked her for my Louboutin giveaway. I am thankful that even for a second, I made her smile. I just wish I could have given her more. I wish I could have given her another day. I bet you nothing in this world would make her happier than another day with her loved ones. Yet the rest of us wake up every day, not even thinking about it….hop out of bed, fuck around on our phone, see who messaged us and who’s doing what online, and go about our day the same way as we did yesterday, and somewhere in there we manage to find time to judge someone else so we can feel bigger and better about ourselves. Shame. Shame on us.

I woke up today full of life. I literally feel like grabbing it and not letting it go. I feel like living it for it’s mine to live. And I only get one chance. And the only thing that matters more than my life is the people in it. For them I would give it up. For them I’m willing to let it all go, as long as it meant they get another day more than I do. I’m okay with that.

I have learned not to judge others a while ago. I used to be catty, “hood”, smack talker, always ready to put up a fight, finding something to talk shit about when it came to others and never pointing the finger at my own self. I was all of that. I have no shame in it. But I no longer do that. I refuse to ever pass judgement upon anyone. And if it crosses my mind I won’t speak on it. For all I know, that person might be in the same phase I was a few years back. Life is all about cycles. I’m no better than you, and you are no better than I. We are all learning. Some quicker than others. But whatever it is that is bothering you now…brush it off! You have a life. Don’t waste a minute spending yours on them. Only you can allow to feel what you feel. Don’t give others that power.  I promise they’re not God. They don’t have any power over your life. So let them be and wish them well. Pray that they find happiness. If they do, they will leave you alone.

Appreciate life.

Here’s my happiness in video form:

Egreis Gjergjani

Leave a Reply

  1. magdalena says:

    so beautifully said!!! 100% agreed

  2. Dominique says:

    This made me tear up.

    I’m in a difficult time now myself.. My father is stressed out & depressed and got an intake last week on my birthday, for a mental institution. This made me realize all the fancy stuff is not what’s important. Life can be so short and you said it so beautifully. Still it can be tough sometimes to keep reminded of that and find the happiness in the little things, but I guess we all need a wake up call in life sooner or later.

    Thank you Egreis, I love your view on life!

  3. Gigi says:

    This couldn’t have been said better. Too many times we are caught up in trivial CRAP without realizing that time is flying by. My best friend just lost her 3 month old son to a respiratory virus last Monday and even during his 21 days in the hospital, people were invested in talking crap about her rather than praying for his health. It’s insanity! I lost a nephew and she lost a son and we’re struggling to raise the funds for the expenses. If more of us were in tuned to reciprocating good to the world, perhaps it would be easier for us. SMH.

  4. Gabriela Edwards says:

    This is why I’m your fan! The reason I found out about you was because of your shoes, I first saw you on the popular page on Instagram and your shoes got my attention. Then as I looked through your page and read your captions I loved how genuine and positive you came across to me. So I followed you, and you honestly teach me a lot every day just in your captions, you truly have a beautiful soul! And I look up to you a lot not because of your accomplished life because anyone can get material things, but because you have nothing but love for everyone and I hope to grow to be a beautiful woman like you. I’m 20 and in college and I judge but I’m working on myself to be a better person everyday.

  5. Hasmig says:

    Thank you for this post. Maria and I went to school together and a few years after high school, we ended up working together at Citi bank in Montrose, CA. She was truly an angel with out wings, a true beautiful soul with a smile that could light up the room. She is truly missed by all the people the knew her and I can’t imagine what Steve and their families are going through at this time. I lost two of my aunts to cancer. That was hard, but this is harder to swallow because of her age. I believe in God, I believe in the higher power and Heaven. I believe that life on Earth isn’t as good as it is when you’re in Heaven and it’s true what they say, God takes the best ones to stand next to him in the gold gates of Heaven awaiting the arrivals of all those who believe in Him. Thank you again for writing this post and opening the eyes of the ones that just want “stuff.” “Stuff” doesn’t bring happiness. I too have a son, 9 months old who brought real, true meaning to my life. I am forever thankful for him and my husband and my family that never fails me.

  6. Lorraine says:

    Very well written Egi. From time to time we all need a reality check to make us realize what is truly important in life. Cancer sucks and it really hits people hard especially when you know the person they can be here today and gone tomorrow.Cancer devastates families and friends. Life is so precious and we truly need to stop and look at the simpler things in life and enjoy our family and friends more. You never know what tomorrow brings here today and gone tomorrow. I enjoy your blog so much and you’re such a wonderful writer God bless you and your family. Keep shining

    1. Lorraine says:

      Sorry Egi at first my comment didn’t seem to post I kept trying and now I noticed it is!!! Only 4 times I’m sorry I don’t know how to delete it?!

      1. Egreis Gjergjani says:

        Haha no worries love. And thank you so much

    2. Lorraine says:

      Sorry Egi at first my comment wasn’t being sent for some reason so I kept on trying and now I noticed it posted four times!!!!! I apologize modern technology glitch!!! Lol

  7. negin says:

    Thanks dear egreis for your meaningful sentence I will do
    My best to follow you

  8. Emily says:

    We need more people like you in the world. I hope you continue to write, inspire, learn, grow and teach. I’ve been following you since before baby Gio and can see so much growth in you, just in that time! I relate to you well because I’m around the same age and realizing all of these things too. Us as woman (and men) need woman (people) like you to inspire us, motivate us and keep us going. So thank you, for being you!