To be or not to be….PREGNANT?!
My husband, our son and I decided to take a pregnancy test this past weekend! Watch the video to see our results!
A part of me still cannot believe this is happening. I was SO nervous to even take the test. We haven’t tried not to get pregnant, but we haven’t tried for it either. So it was definitely nerve wrecking to go through the whole testing period, even though it was 2 minutes long. Felt like the longest 2 minutes ever. Part of me felt like there is NO way I am, because I just didn’t feel pregnant. And the other part of me that felt like I could very well be pregnant since I had just gotten my period last month, so I knew I had started ovulating.
My husband has been wanting this the entire time. He loves children, and this would be his 5th. I love them as well, so it’s a great feeling to be surrounded by love and know that everyone around you wants this just as much, if not more 🙂 The last few months we have been teasing the kiddos about me possibly having another baby soon, and as much as they always joked and said NOOOOO, when I would tell them I wasn’t pregnant, they had this sad look on them. So we knew that deep down they would very much love another baby around the house.
I have obviously thought about having another one since Gio was born. But I didn’t want it to be right after Gio, because I wanted to give my son everything that I possibly could. By that I mean all of my love, attention, care, time, and dedication. I didn’t want to be pregnant so soon because if I had a pregnancy like my last one, it would mean I would be extremely sick for the first 4 months. Of course, it could very well be completely different second time around. But because I know what it was like to have such bad morning sickness, the thought of going through that with a tiny baby around scared me. I didn’t think it would be fair to my son. George is my world and the thought of not fully partaking in every single milestone, or even daily activity of his just saddens me. So as I sit here and type this I am tearing up. A part of me is soooo happy and soooo excited that a tiny little angel is growing inside of me. But the other part of me makes me cling on to Gio that much more. I keep telling him “I love him” like a little kid who just learned how to say it for the first time. I just want to make sure he understands and knows that I am here, and I will always be here, and he will always be my world no matter what sibling or siblings are coming our way.
I have talked to some of my friends who have more than just one kid and I always ask them if they favorite one more than the other. Of course they always say “No” lol. But i feel like if they said yes, they would feel guilty. See, a part of me feels like there is NO ONE i could ever love more than my son. Heck, not even me. Is that because he’s my only one? I don’t know. They say this will change the second you hold your next child. I sound like a horrible mother of two already. I already love my second one and he or she or they are only a few weeks old. But part of me feels like George will always be my special baby. Who knows…this whole growing older thing has taught me so much I never imagined before. Maybe I will find out that mothers do love all children the same indeed and they don’t play favorites.
I just can’t believe it! I’m pregnant! As in PREGNANT! I am sooooo soooo excited. I don’t care if I have a boy, girl, twins, triplets, two boys, two girls…anything! I just want a healthy pregnancy with a healthy baby(ies). I’m leaving all of this in God’s hands and praying that he watches over me and my family!
Last pregnancy was a very rough one. I was so stressed out, I was sick, the unknown feared me, I had no experience, I was scared, I was clueless. This time I no longer am those things. I am strong, I am prepared, I know what to expect, I am full of life and love, I am relaxed, and I am completely at peace and ready for this. I am looking forward to an amazing journey, God willing.
Thank you for being a part of this and letting me share our joy with you <3