Preparing For Charlie’s Birth

Baby | Jun 13, 2015

Egreis Gjergjani and son GioYou ever watched that commercial (don’t remember which company) but it’s about the difference between having a first child and a second one…how we are such anal mothers when it comes to our first kid, but then the second one comes around we just wing it and go with the flow..LOL. I find it to be SO accurate! When I was preparing for Gio’s arrival and even after I had him, I had sanitizers on every corner of the house, cars, strollers, you name it. Everything from the nursery, clothes, bottles, diapers, gadgets, all the way to birth plan and hospital bag was so detailed and in excess that it gives me a headache now that I think about it. It was just so NEW to me! I wanted to be as prepared as possible. I wanted to be the best mother I could be, not realizing that being a great mother had little to do with how many bottles of sanitizers you had around or how many onesies you had nicely folded in his closet. But I was stupid then. And I’m sure I’ll look back at this post I’m currently writing and think the same too, for we always evolve, we always mature, we always change and hopefully it’s always for the better.

My pregnancy with Charlie was so different than the one I had with Gio. When I first got pregnant with George, I was living in LA. I was working full time. I was doing the whole long distance dating thing with my then boyfriend. We had plans on getting engaged and moving in together after that summer, but then we found out we were pregnant so we moved those plans to the beginning of summer instead. I went from having a busy, active life to reading pregnancy books on the couch all day long. It was definitely a huge change for me. New state, new house, got married, pregnancy hormones, all of it was so much but I dealt with it by just pouring myself into the family and focusing solely on it. I had a very relaxing pregnancy. No stress for the most part. No issues with the pregnancy itself so that was a relief. But all day long I did not much else other than research everything baby related; made to do lists, to buy lists, found all kinds of baby gadgets, and became a pinterest addict! LOL.

Egreis Gjergjani and son GioMy pregnancy with Charlie on the other hand, total opposite! Every day I am busy with Gio, all day long. As if that wasn’t keeping me busy enough I decided to launch an online children’s boutique, Itty Bitty Toes, at the beginning of the year. I traveled a lot more this second time around than I did when I was pregnant with George. And once I got going on the boutique it was honestly NON STOP! I got maybe 5 hours of sleep each night and all day long I was either working on the online store or doing something with my son. I started having less and less time to do things around the house, which for me is hard because I’m a neat freak and every Saturday I like giving my house a deep clean. I was also cooking less because I just couldn’t find the time to do it. Well,I could but I decided to spend it on what was important to me at the time, and that was IBT (Itty Bitty Toes). I tend to get obsessed and really into it when I start something. If I want to get something done, I put my all into it and while yes that’s great in business, it can also get out of hand. I definitely can so there were times my husband had to literally pull me away from all the calls/emails/and computer in general to get me to relax and spend more time with those that mattered. I lost track of what was important every now and then because I was so excited to start something of my own. I was feeling important again, inside of me. I know that having a job or career has little to do with your self worth and I know I’m loved and cared for, so that’s not the issue. But I’ve been staying at home for 2 years now with nothing to call mine as far as a career goes. So Itty Bitty Toes became my little baby. Needless to say, it made my pregnancy with Charlie go by so fast! I didn’t read any pregnancy books this time around. And I don’t feel a single ounce of guilt. Mainly, because I read all of them a year before haha. But also, now that I am a mother I realize that too much reading, and too much researching, and too much of anything is just not even healthy. I have had to tell myself and truly understand that people have survived for years and years without much knowledge, education, science, you name it. And they’ve done just fine. So I learned to relax and realize that not everything is perfect, never will it ever be, and as much  as we want to be these perfect parents and give our child the perfect little world, truth is we will never succeed at it, because it simply isn’t achievable. And that’s OKAY! A little germ here and there will be just fine!

For Charlie, I decided to turn Gio’s nursery into his nursery. As perfect as it is, because I truly love everything I did in that room, I wanted to change it up a bit so that it had a different feel to it. I switched the rocking chair to a bright red one I got from; I had a muralist paint some tree branches and red petals on the wall; I had the furniture lightly brushed with gold and every piece of accent that was silver we switched it to gold; I changed the curtains and beddings to a gray/ivory/champagne color. And I intended on changing the pictures that were there to the ones we took with Lori Dorman at my pregnancy photo shoot, but I just never got around to getting that done. So there are still pictures of Gio up there. It’s on my to do list!

George's nurseryI remember with Gio, he barely spent any time in his room. He never really cared for the crib. Slept in it for maybe a few months, but that’s it. I built him a little floor bed in our bedroom so he sleeps with us. And when he was first born I had him sleep in a cradle next to me, so I knew that with Charlie we would take a similar route. This made me feel less stressed about having to finish the nursery or do much to it. I just knew that he wouldn’t really spend much time there. Sooner or later, that room will be changed into a toddler’s room like we did one for Gio. Speaking of which, we decided to give Gio a whole new room with a forest theme. I’ll make a blog post about it later (after I’ve finished it…IF i ever do haha)

Towards the end of my pregnancy, I prepared a hospital bag and a birth plan for my second birth. I did the same with Gio so that was very helpful. Here’s my blog post about my Hospital Bag and Birth Plan I had when I was pregnant with George. If you are a first time mom, you’ll most likely follow my first plan and first bag haha. And I completely understand. You’re most likely feeling the way I did when I was first pregnant. I wanted to be FULLY prepared lol. This time around I feel prepared even if I bring just half of the things, simply because I’ve been there, done that and just the experience alone makes me feel more prepared. If that’s how you are or feel, there is NOTHING wrong with it. Go for it! There’s nothing wrong with being anal about everything, and packing your entire house if you need to lol. There are too many moms who love going around telling new moms what to do and how to do it, that I’d never want to do the same. I share my experiences and what i decided to do…you are welcome to do the exact same or exact opposite. I truly do not care and I mean that in the nicest way possible.


hospital bag 3

Let me just clarify that having a hospital bag or not having one is not going to change your birth experience by much. I know some mothers have freaked out over not having their bag with them when they deliver and so on….do not worry! The hospital will provide you everything you NEED. Your hospital bag is just another way to bring things that you are comfortable with vs. what the hospital offers, but by no means is it a requirement or going to make your labor that much better. You’ll be ok without one! If you can, I recommend preparing one so that you can bring all that you love and want to wear versus what they’ll give you in the hospital. Here’s what I brought: (click on the little images underneath the large image to go to the link of each item and see where and how much it is).

– A birthing gown: I bought mine from Etsy. It was comfortable and pretty but more importantly it opened easily so when it is time to hold your baby you can just pull it right down easily.

– Maternity underwear: The hospital will give you mesh ones but I remember from the first time I went through it, I hated how they felt. So this time I bought my own that were cotton and much softer.

– Toiletries: I brought a toiletries bag with a bunch of travel sized goodies such as shampoo, conditioner, body wash, toothpaste, tooth brush, hair tie, hair brush, lotion, body spray, chapstick. I never ended up using the shampoo and conditioner. Same with the body spray. I realized it wasn’t necessary esp since I held Charlie for the most part of my stay in the hospital.

– I bought a pillow case just because it’s pretty.

– For Charlie’s outfit, I bought onesies and hats from Kissy Kissy. With George, that’s all I used the first 3 months of his life. They’re expensive but so so so soft. To me it’s worth it.

– I changed into pajamas the day after birth. I got mine from Amazon. Click on the little image to take you to the site. They’re also expensive but so soft that I ended up buying more as soon as i got home.


egreis gjergjani birth plan

My birth plan this time around was different from the one I had made when pregnant with Gio. If you’re curious to see the difference between the two check out my post about it some time ago.

The first time I was pregnant I was aiming for an all natural birth. Remember I said as a first time mommy we become obsessed with doing everything organic, natural, blah blah blah lol. Well I was on that same boat. Until I went through it. I had hired a doula and was fully prepared to have a natural birth, but my body decided to go from 1 cm to 8 cm in just a matter of minutes and I never got a chance to experience the normal progression of contractions. Instead I got hit with the transition phase within minutes so that pain was too much for me to handle. So this second time around, I was definitely not going to do the natural thing! I wanted the epidural. NOT A QUESTION ABOUT IT!

birthing CharlieI read all these blog posts on baby center and talked to all these women,both the ones that took the epidural and the ones that are adamant about having natural births and it’s amazing to hear their opinions. I found that the ones that want a natural birth somehow feel like they’re stronger or deserve a fucking medal (excuse my language) for doing it without taking any pain medication. I personally don’t understand it. Sure, you are strong. (I say this now because I just gave birth three days ago without any medication and it was HELL! I have no regrets about it, don’t get me wrong, but no way do I feel like some sort of hero for doing it without drugs). So I don’t get the whole I DID IT WITHOUT DRUGS. Okay, and? I hate to say this, and I’m sure the ones reading this that didn’t take epidural are going to hate me, but you are not a better mother than those who took the epidural. You may be stronger yes and good for you. You have the balls to go with the pain. But there’s nothing wrong with women that decided that pain was too much for them so they decided to opt for the medicine. After all, it’s what it’s there for. Then of course you get the debate going…well epidural can have side effects, blah blah blah. Everything in life can have side effects. Giving birth naturally can have side effects. Shoot, I can totally see moms never wanting to give birth again after experiencing natural birth LOL. That’s not a good side effect in my opinion. I joke…point is, in life everything you do can have side effects. You choose what’s best for you. But there is no need to put others down for making the choices that did that were different from yours. I personally have had both kinds of birth: one with epidural and one without. And If I ever had to choose again, I would DEFINITELY do the epidural. As much as I love that I have experienced both, I can’t say I “loved” the natural birth like some moms say they do. There was nothing loving about it. I tore the F up! I screamed at the top of my lungs. I held on to the bed bars like I was being cut open while awake, it was unbelievable pain. I also went from 4 cm to fully dilated in 7 minutes though, so perhaps my pain was much greater because of it, who knows. But it was the kind of pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone so my opinion is ….choose what you think you can handle! But just know that it is going to hurt if you do it without medicine. Tis all!

The hospital I went to is very pro skin to skin type of parenting. They like to hand you the baby as soon as he/she is born. So I didn’t really have to put that on my plan. They are also very cooperative and like to follow the mom’s wishes when it comes to their perfect birth. Now keep in mind, this is just a guide. This is a “plan”. This is not a blueprint of your birth. It doesn’t mean everything will happen accordingly. So do not get your hopes up. Both the first time and second time, my births went completely different than I had imagined or “planned” and it’s okay. You just have to be open to plans changing because what your body does and what that baby wants to do is not in your hands. So you have to be flexible. I wasn’t so good about it the first time around. I was so upset and cried for days because of it, so I recommend that you don’t get so hung up on your plan. Things can change at any time and you have to be ready and willing to accept such changes. Otherwise you’ll go through birth without feeling great and I wouldn’t want that for you.

Egreis after birth, with Gio

I think I covered it all. As far as why I chose certain things on my birth plan, I recommend reading my first birth plan. I explained all my choices there. I will make another blog post about my birth story with Charlie. I’m waiting on my photographer, Morgan Lang, to finish the entire video (she captured everything).

Until then, nothing but love!


Egreis Gjergjani

PS. Excuse all typos, grammatical errors, you name it. Don’t have time or patience to go back and proofread and English is my second language so give me a break! LOL.

Leave a Reply

  1. Tracey says:

    Thank you for writing this! It’s just what I needed to read as I am 36w with baby #2. My first was a planned csection due to being breech and I’m very nervous about a vbac, but also excited. I agree 100% with you about the pain meds thing! I don’t want this to be a miserable experience. I don’t want to be in excruciating pain and too exhausted to “meet” my new baby. Congrats on your new little boy!

  2. Giovana Gomes says:

    I admire you dearly and who cares what people think things always happen the way they do for a reason

  3. Jaime says:

    Go glad Charlie is here and you did an amazing job! My 3 were all enduced yes all 3

  4. Kathleen says:

    I am a first time mom to an 8 week old son. Best feeling ever. I love this blog .though I am a first time mom I am a pediatric/nicu step down nurse and I didn’t feel the typical first time mom “over the top stuff” lol guess working in that field calmed me down. As far as the epidural I was adamant I didn’t want one THEN BOOM I started having contractions every 5 minutes for SIX days before I had an emergency C-section. I was like wtf who am I trying to be strong for GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL NOWWWWWW.. Lmbo….Congrats on Charlie, keep up the blog, and in my head we’re besties HA!!! Have a great summer xoxo 😉

  5. Regina says:

    Hey I love that you blogged about this, I’m sure it will help a lot of ppl! Please write more about what’s it feels like now that you have too, I know you were scared that you have so much love for George and how to adjust, cuz I’m scared too. I love my little girl so much and I just think I won’t be able to love another child like that, idk if that sounds crazy…?!… And lol I love that you shared your pain, I had a natural birth and the pain wasn’t HELL for me, I don’t think I’m better than abyone because of that though, I’m just happy it was the way it was. I definitely went in wanting to get the epidural but in the end, didn’t need one. Congratulations once again and hope you have a great, quick recovery. Happy motherhood!

    1. Maria says:

      Loved your post! I am 39 weeks due date tomorrow. I’m so scared and excited at the same time! Wishing u a quick recovery!

      1. Egreis Gjergjani says:

        You got this!!!!

    2. Egreis Gjergjani says:

      Haha that’s the best way to put it! Who are we trying to prove our strength to! If you can take it, great! If not, great too! As long as these babies come out, birth is hard no matter which route you take!

    3. Shronda says:

      OMG! Loved reading this. I happened onto your instagram a few months ago. Your style and love shown between you and your husband and boys is so inspiring. I’m a single mother of four, they are now 22,19,17 and 16. My 1st 3 were natural births and not because I was trying to prove anything, it’s just that I hate putting drugs of any kind in my body but trust that I wad begging at the last minutes but it was too late. Now my last son. I we at my Dr appointment, no contractions or anything, they wanted a stress test because they thought I was over due, now being that I had 3 babies before I calculated my due date as 10/23. Now my appointment was 10/22. During the stress test his, Alexander’s heart rate dropped during the contractions but I was feeling a thing. I wasn’t stressing but my doctor sent me over to the hospital across the street. At some point during them monitoring me Alex’s heart rate continues to drop with each contraction and at this point I’m still not feeling anything. Do the doctor ordered a monitor to be clipped to the babies head and when they did that the cord slipped under him. They waited some time to Dee if he would move but he didn’t so now I’m being rushed to the E.R. C-section with a nurse riding the gourney with me and her hand up my crotch to push Alex off of the cord. Next thing I hear the anesthesiologist yell, she’s not even prepped. I start yelling put me out. The anesthesiologist told me to countdown and I was out at 97 woke up seemed like hours later. My son was born healthy but next day I was do sick. Long story short my c-section incision was sown to my intestines and I had to be opened up again to fix. I wad in the hospital 2 weeks and 3 days. Alex went home with family a week before me and not to mention my other little ones. Literally the worst incident of my life. So I commend you for not letting them cut you open. We have to speak up. Not sure if there wad any other optio0for me at that point. But childbirth natural or not is the most beautiful thing we can do as women. Thank you for sharing your story ad I’m sure it will help others. But also know just go with the flow and listen to your body and your heart.

  6. Racha says:

    You are just way tooo sweet. I can’t handle pain. I chose epidural and I can’t imagine getting pregnant without one lol and I will check the prices for photographers while delivering bcz I really think it is a great idea. Especially that I didn’t take not even one picture with my first son while in the hospital, I totally forgot 🙁 and whenever I think about it I almost cry lol. And excuse my Englisg it is also my 2nd language lol

  7. Alyssa says:

    Egreis, I’m not a mother and wont be one for some time (haha I’m only 20!) but I follow your blog and insta religiously! Your dedication and love for your family inspires me and I’m hopeful that one day I’ll feel the same completeness with my own family! Also your shoes are my life lolllll

  8. Natalie siwadjian says:

    I love your story. U remind me of me so much and thats why I love reading ur life stories. I agree with you 100% on giving birth, to medicine and all. Everything you said is so true and life experience. Love always. Nat!!

    1. Egreis Gjergjani says:

      Love right back Nat!

  9. Sydney Fraboni says:

    Thank you for sharing, although I am only 17 and not pregnant! Haha I have been following you on ig since you had Gio and love watching your family grow. The second to last pic above with you Charlie and Jeremy is beautiful! You can see just how much you love each other and the happiness in your eyes! Xoxoxo @sydney010

  10. mila says:

    even though i have no plans on having babys ,you made me read all your story,,,, thank u for sharing experiences and everything. GOD bless u and ur family,hopefully u will be the happiest mother… much love

  11. Nora says:

    This is a beautiful blog . I relate to this so much in some way and you have my respect … You really summed up everything that I every wanted to share with my friends and family , special the epidural I total understand what your trying to say and explain . I had my first one no pain control and my second one with an epidural… I love them the same and I have the complete right motherhood to the same … Giving birth first time made me scared and waited so long trying to forget the pain … But second time being so relaxed and using the epidural I am so confident to do it all over again … And loved the experience.. I totally get you dear

    So happy for you
    So excited to see more of what you share

  12. TinA says:

    You are amazing!

  13. Erika says:

    First off congratulations on your new bundle of joy!!!!! I really enjoyed reading your blog everything you said was and is so true!!!! I just had my first baby 4 months ago he’s the best thing that has ever happened to me!!! I reqlly enjoy reading your blogs and seeing your pictures. Your so down to earth and u have such an amazing heart not to mention an awesome mother! And your super hot!!!! Lol!! I don’t know u personally but I can relate to you and what u say a lot! Keep sharing your stories and pictures F the haters they are just miserable in there lives!!! Again congratulations I wish u and ur family lots of happiness and may God continue to bless you!

    1. Egreis Gjergjani says:

      How sweet! Thank you so much and congratulations! aren’t babies amazing! I swear they will change you! In the best way possible too!

  14. Trisha says:

    I agree with all of it! My good friend was about 7 months behind me when I was close to delivery. It was her 1st and my 3rd. She was on me about why I wasn’t reading this book or this parenting magazine ect. I tried to explain to her that it stresses me out to read all the “do’s and donts” each child is so different, even parenting styles adjust its just too much info overload at times. It’s a wonder the human species made it this far without it ha 😉 So happy you had a safe delivery of your darling little Charlie. Truly kids, besides my own of course, I don’t find that cute lol but omg Gio is a living doll and George is just perfect too! Thanks for always keeping it so real with all of your readers and sharing a piece of your life with us on Insta. Very best wishes!!

    1. Egreis Gjergjani says:

      Thank you so much!!!

  15. Shuby says:

    What do you take for breast I never had son 3momths old

    1. Egreis Gjergjani says:

      I never took anything love. I’ve been pretty lucky with my flow both times so far. But I know there are a ton of remedies and tips online! I would start looking there

  16. Emily says:

    Congratulations on Charlie’s birth. I was pregnant with my first and read your blog when you had Gio. Thought I had to do it natural to be the best mom. After 10 hours of transition and leg labor I got the meds and was just thankful not to have a c section. And that would have been ok too but happy to avoid surgery after a 44 hour labor. The best moms just pour all their love into their little ones and do their best. Your English is beautiful. So are your babies.

  17. Navneet Sra says:

    U r so genuine person I swear..wish I could talk to u all the time … My son is 7 month old …I have been reading your blog from 2 trisemter ..and your breastfeeding article is what I followed ..I drank maximum water and nursed maximum to my LO when he was week old and cuz of that I never had any problem with BF him .. Mine was induced labour but vaginal birth without epidural or gas…I know it was sooo painful .i thought I would die at the end …I luv u Egeris ..bless ya

  18. Sarai says:

    I love your honesty. It is so refreshing. I too went from zero to 60 in a crazy fast amount of time. My daughter popped out at home. I just had a question, were you laying on your back while in labor? I only ask because I delivered standing up and it alleviated all the pain from my back.. When I was on my back I felt my back splitting in half, well that’s what it felt like! I’m pregnant for the 2nd time and plan to do so naturally again. Idk if this time will be so painless, but if my first had hurt so much I probably would’ve wanted an epidural this time around too!

  19. Kaylyn says:

    Thank you so much for this!!! I knew from the moment I got pregnant with my son that I was NOT doing it without an epidural. I knew I didn’t need to prove myself to anybody. I didn’t care what everybody else thought. It was my body, my birth! I wanted to enjoy my birth experience. And besides ALL my labor was in my back so for the couple of hours before my epidural, it hurt like hell.

  20. Vee says:

    Will you share your birth story with us on your blog?! I’m so excited to hear about it this time around.

  21. melanie says:

    Thank you for sharing… you are amazing

  22. Hawaa says:

    I love reading your blog. But unfortunately, I have to disagree with you. Not all women who have natural birth think or claim to be strong or some sort of heroes . For instance, I had 2 natural births and all my friends had epideral . Believe it or not whenever we bring up that subject I’m the one that gets bullied. They all think that I am crazy or still living in dark ages for giving natural birth. I have my reasons for not taking the epideral … just so you know not most of us out there think we are heroes . Unless I was asked I don’t tell people I did with no drugs. In the end, what matters is the health of the baby and the mom. Congrats on the birth your baby!

  23. Kidedt says:

    You are so so honest. What I love about you. Pls keep it up. Wish u n ur lovely families the best.

  24. Nina says:

    Eggy, I have been following you for a over an year now on IG, and it really helps me get through my day when it gets rough – just to chill and put a smile. I loved your story – it made so emotional and love that you are so honest about your choices. Do not pay attention to the ones that do not approve of you, simply ignore!
    I am currently expecting baby Number 2, I have a 19 month-old son and I am curious to see and get any tips on raising 2 babies. I gave birth through c-section, it just happened for lots of reasons, it was not my initial intend, but I get a loooot of bitchy comments as to why I did so…some people will always find a reason to snap at you and criticize every move you make, I know that!
    Anyway, stay healthy and happy! Congratulations on your healthy baby boys!

  25. Laura says:

    Its so weird, I have been following you for probably 5 years, and I feel like I know you. i don’t have instagram anymore but my sisters always keep me posted on anything big that you announce. Im so happy for you and happy to hear everything is going well with you. Your family is beautiful! I have 2 girls myself (3 and 7 year old), and am craving the smell of a newborn baby neck so bad. LOL, so creepy, but true. Anyways, LOVE YOU!!

  26. Tahniesha says:

    I’m actually 24weeks pregnant with my first child and it’s nice to hear the feedback from your experience with a natural and epidural birth. I’m anxious about my birth because it’s the unknown for me but reading your story was so helpful and definitely knowledgeable for this mama to be. I’m aiming for a natural birth but we’ll see lol. I hired a doula as well and I’m going to be taking Hypnobirthing. Wish me luck!

    Much Love,


  27. Brianna Louise says:

    I just want to tell you how much I agree with so much you say, we are friends in my head lol, thank you for being so real and honest, it takes balls. You are a beautiful person and your family looks like they are all so happy all the time I’m sure that has everything to do with you, thanks for sharing your life, sending happiness and hugs from myself and my one year old Ross Phillip xoxo

  28. Kim says:

    Hello beautiful mom! I am not even pregnant or anything But I am reading your blogs. Haha